James Comey shows what happens when we lose our jobs and our identities

James Comey shows what happens when we lose our jobs and our identitiesJames Comey shows what happens when we lose our jobs and our identitiesFBI Director James Comey was abruptly fired on Tuesday night. Comey reportedly heard about it while he was giving a speech as the news flashed on TV screens behind him he was so unprepared for it that he believed it to be a prank. Afterward, instead of making a statement, Comey went silent he pulled out of several events, including a speech to fellow FBI agents and scheduled testimony in front of the Senate.Comeys firing illuminates an issue many successful people face what do you when your job is your identity- the reason you get invited to things - and then you lose it, or fear that you will? Very often, you may start to question who you are, you may even start to feel like youve lost your purpose in life. After a flurry of initial interest, invitations may drop off and you may start to feel like a pariah in the industry you had a strong po sition in.Our jobs, ourselvesWe spend at least a third of our lives at work - and its often more for overachievers and hard workers - so its not surprising we tie our own happiness to how well were doing at work.Its easy to feel like your job defines you.A 2014 Gallup poll found that55% of U.S. workers get a sense of identity from their job, compared to 42% who feel that its just what you do.A 2017 study published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior of 377 British employees surveyed three times in 2014 says that job insecurity and the stigma attached to unemployment can negatively impact peoples social identity and well-being.Our professional titles can be pretty closely connected to how we identify ourselves and our perceivedself-worth, so fear of losing jobs can feel like were losing our social standing, and more importantly, who we think we are deep down.Questioning your identityPart of the sadness around job loss is the sense of exclusion youre separated not just from yo ur title and your organization, but your workmates, your daily habits, your distributions-mix in the world of work. If you think you might lose your job soon, its not uncommon to feel like youve already been excluded from a club of lucky people with income.It is shownthat increased perceptions of job insecurity are likely to lead people to identify less with the employed population.People who perceived their job as more insecure were also more likely to feel less belonging to the employedworking society they de?ned themselves less as employed people. Thisreflectsan impression often anecdotally reported by job-insecure workers, of already being at the margins or pushed out of employment, wroteEva Selenko, Anne Mkikangasand Christopher B. Stridein the Journal of Organizational Behavior.So even if you still have a job, you might feel like you already lost it.When somebodys employment is secure, their social identity as an employed person may not explicitly come to mind very often. Howe ver, when the loss of a job becomes more salient, people may start to become increasingly aware of being identified as parte of an alternative, stigmatized out-group the unemployed, said ablog post by the Association for Psychological Science.In short No one wants to be left behind.Letting go of the idea that your job is your identityFor those of us who tie who we are to our careers, it can be hard to deal when our livelihoods are in question.In an emotional piece inGood Housekeeping, Melanie Gardiner wrote about losing a job she loved, and just how hard that loss hit her. Its an account that may resonate with many of us.I proceeded to throw myself an epic pity party for the next couple of months. I barely left my couch. I avoided music, friends, family, and just about anything that once brought me joy. I let days go by mindlessly, Gardiner wrote.So how do you fix your feelings if youre actually unemployed?You might be tempted to stew in your sadness, worryingaboutwhat you think you could have done to avoid losing your job- but you dont have to for long. The human condition is shouldve, couldve, wouldveWhen youre beating yourself up, think, I did the best that I could under those circumstances and ask What can I learn and go forward with? career counselor Judith Gerberg told SELF. Its completely possible to get over your grief if you lose your job or think you will. Just dont forget this you are more thanwhere you work. Your identity is something you dont owe your boss.